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15 Sep 2011"乾坤大挪移"作为是明教历代相传一门最厉害的武功,其根本道理也并不如何奥妙,只不过先求激发自身潜力,然后牵引挪移敌劲。此武功的精华在于"借力打力"。那么,我们不妨把雅思考官当作对方高手,也学习一下此门武功,看看这招运用到雅思写作中能不能发挥奇效。
其实,让雅思考生最头疼的一件事是,不管自己听了多少课读了多少本书,雅思写作提高就像蜗牛攀墙一样慢。这对于基础较好的学生尤其如此。很多考生反映,到了一个瓶颈以后,似乎很难再往上提高。为什么会出现这种情况?这是因为写作是很难自查的,即使平时自己练了很多,还是不知道自己的错误在哪里。自己准备雅思的考生是基本上没有机会让专业的写作老师批改的,而参加大班的考生能够批改的机会也不多,因此在一对一课堂里,考生有了更多的机会让老师帮助自己从这四大评分标准的角度精确修改文章。但同时,我在课堂上也会强调要考生自己了解这个标准,做到心中有数。即便课程结束了,自己依然可以用四大评分标准对自己的文章进行修改。四大评分标准本是雅思官方设来评判考生文章的手段,即是对方的"力",虽然来势汹汹,但只要我们只要把评分标准当做制胜关键,运用每一项评分标准来检查自己习作,进而得到提高与进步,借力打力,便可在大作文上取得完胜。
四大评分标准分别是:对写作任务的回应情况;连贯与衔接;词汇资源语法的多样性和准确性。毋庸置疑考生的文章在每一方面都要做到尽善尽美才有可能拿高分。出于这个原因,雅思写作指导书都会从这次个方面入手,教学生如何达到标准。诚然,这些方法的教授对考生来说是有必要的,但雅思写作的难处在于,"掌握方法"和"运用方法"是完全不同的两回事。
基于上述原因,本文详细解读如何用四大评分标准去衡量和修改一篇学生习作。下表是各项评分标准的自查项目,学生平时练习写作后可运用此表进行自查,进而完善与提高,做到"借力打力"。
对写作任务的回应情况 | 连贯与衔接 | 词汇资源 | 语法多样性和准确性 |
文章首段是否是题目的改写 | 文章每一段是否至少有一个衔接词(如because, therefore, moreover) | 文章中同一个词是否出现了多次 | 时态是否正确 |
文章正文段与末尾段是否与首段提出的观点一致 | 衔接词是否使用正确(注意查用法和词义) | 词性是否正确(如“经济在发展”一句中经济应用economy这一名词而不是economic这一形容词) | 标点是否正确(两个完整句之间若没有连词中间一定是句号) |
文章正文段讨论的是否是题目的观点 | 正文段之间是否有衔接手段。 | 文中是否有过多口语词汇(very, gonna, many可以分别改为extremely, will, a vast number/amount of) | 单数可数名词是否裸用(employer不可单独出现,必须是the/an employer或者是变为复数employers) |
下文是学生的一片习作,希望考生看完修改过程,今后自己也能用相同方法修改自己的文章。
题目:Electronic dictionaries are increasingly popular among students, especially those majoring in a second language or taking foreign language courses. In your opinion, do the advantages of electronic dictionaries outweigh the disadvantages, or vice versa?
文章:
As the rapid(迅速的) development of science and technology, we have seen the appearance (出现) of lots of new products(产品). They have benefited us in more than one way. Because most of them are advanced(高级的), though they have their disadvantages, but their advantages still outweigh the disadvantages.
The advantages of electronic dictionaries are many. First, they are very light, but they have more than one million words. A paper dictionary with so many words would be very large and heavy. Electronic dictionaries are also easier to use than paper dictionaries. Electronic dictionaries enable users to find a word in a few seconds by typing in(输入) the word. And they offer a long list of features(特点、功能) that made them better than paper dictionaries, common features consist a calendar, calculator, alarm clock and memos.
The price of electronic dictionaries is no longer a problem. Nowadays, because the number of electronic dictionaries is increasing quickly, the price is not as dear as before. Students can spend a little money to buy a useful electronic dictionary, which is helpful to their study of foreign languages.
As tens of millions of electronic dictionary uses would agree, the disadvantages of these devices are offset (抵消) by their numerous advantages. Students and others will have even more reason to put an electronic dictionary on their shopping list.
看完此文,如果要打分,大家心里会给什么样的分数呢?其实这是一篇4分作文。虽然乍看之下,作文里面句子都比较长,单词也比较难,但是在考官眼中,如果仔细比对四大评分标准,就会发现此文漏洞百出。那么我们现在运用自查表借力打力,找出错误在哪里(正确的用√表示)。
对写作任务的回应情况 | 连贯与衔接 | 词汇资源 | 语法多样性和准确性 |
此文首段在写新产品,但并没有提到题目中的关键词“electronic dictionaries” | √文章每一段至少有一个衔接词 | 文章中advantages和disadvantages出现了多次,此文中可换为boons 和banes | 时态有错误,如第三段made一词改为make |
√文章正文段与末尾段是否与首段提出的观点一致 | 第一段“随着”一词“as”使用错误,因为as后面只能加句子,而with才可加名词短语 | √词性基本正确 | 第二段末句标点错误,两个完整句之间不能用逗号 |
文章让讨论优点和缺点,但正文段丝毫未提缺点。 | 正文段之间无衔接手段。 | 文中有口语词汇 many,very | √单数可数名词没有裸用 |
对比四大评分标准之后,在四个方面分别作出一定修改,修改后文章如下(修改的重点部分用黑体标出):
With the rapid development of science and technology, we have seen the proliferation(激增)of new products. As a member of the new products, the electronic dictionaries have benefited us in more than one way. Since most of them are sophisticated(精密的), though they have their disadvantages, their merits still outweigh the drawbacks.
The advantages of electronic dictionaries are numerous. First, they are portable(易搬动的), especially when we consider the vast sizes of the words they contain - up to one million words. A paper dictionary with so many words would be extremely large and cumbersome(笨重的). Second, electronic dictionaries are also easier to use than traditional dictionaries. They enable users to find a word in a few seconds by typing in(输入) the word. Third, they offer a long list of features that make them superior to paper dictionaries. Common features consist of a calendar, calculator, alarm clock and memos.
Nevertheless, the electronic dictionaries have their limitations. For example, the price of electronic dictionaries is once expensive. As many of them cost over 500RMB, students from rural areas usually cannot afford to buy it even if they need one badly. Another disadvantage of electronic dictionaries is that their batteries must be recharged or replaced very often. What's worse, they often stop working suddenly while one is using it, and this gives much inconvenience(不便) to uses.
Admittedly(的确), the electronic dictionaries have banes. But in this day and age, the disadvanteges of these devices are offset(抵消) by their numerous advantages, in that their prices fall in recent years and they have the function of telling the amount of rest battery life. Therefore, students and others will have even more reason to put an electronic dictionary on their shopping list.
修改之后,此文基本没有硬伤。所以考生在自己练习之后,也可参照此文方法,从每一项评分标准入手,分析自己的文章有哪些欠缺,再对比范文,看看思维方面还可以怎样改进,这样才能有长足的进步。光看文章不练习,到考场上是找不到感觉的。但是只练不改,同样没有作用。学会对照四大评分标准评判和修改自己的习作,对雅思写作的提高会有立竿见影的效果。
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